Have you ever put someone in a box? Are you wondering at this point what I mean? I guess I should clarify my thoughts. Have you ever fallen prey to gossip about a person and then judged them not by their own character but by jumping to your own conclusions? Then, you begin to see this person in a different light and build up feelings about this person that are negative or even nasty. These pre-conceived notions that you may think about this person just may be false. This is hurtful…this is what is happening to me.

I, pretty much live my life in hiding (not just me, but my entire family)…hence the fact that nothing you see about me or my family online ever has our last name attached to it. We attend a wonderful church but no one knows us there. Nine years ago, my husband was forced to make a choice between us (us being me) or my in-laws. I am not going to go into detail here about why this choice was necessary or how a Christian family could be torn apart at the seams. God doesn’t want us to tear others down so you won’t see us crying on peoples shoulders, saying how mistreated that we are. No, this is between us and God. Our faith tells us that we need to forgive; to pray for our enemies, we have done both of these. Most importantly to wait upon the Lord, to trust that He will take care of us.

This doesn’t change the fact that in the minds of those that are on the other side it is my fault that all of this happened. It doesn’t change the fact that we have been practically stalked for the last 9 years. That nasty cards, notes, devotions and Bible verses have shown up in our mail and in our front yard tied with rubber bands and plastic bags to get the point across that we are in hiding. That we won’t prosper. That we need prayer! Yes, doesn’t everybody? My parents have been followed and confronted. Past friends and acquaintances have been used. We have had people show up unannounced at our house that all of a sudden needed to check up on us. Childhood friends of my husband and me have been targeted to call or visit to see what is going on with us. After my dad passed away, we attended church with my mom to help her through until she was strong enough to go it alone (The pastor of this church was even targeted).

These people will go after anyone that they can use to come after us. Last spring, a friend who had been in contact with my husband began to put pressure on him. You see, they think that I am the one that has started all this. They think that the roles of our family are reversed and that I wear the proverbial “pants” in the family. This was one of his favorite childhood friends (these people were in our wedding) until the guy started telling him that he needed to lay the law down to me and tell me how it was going to be. My husband kept his cool and ended that relationship. On Friday…the last remaining friend did the same very thing. He spewed hatred and ugliness towards Dennis, me of course but actually congratulated Dennis that he was successful for teaching Brittany (our daughter) to one day have an argument and never talk to us again.. He was told once again; that I needed to be put in my place…that we have kept our daughter away from his family…it went on and on. When this happens, it brings us to our knees and we need a bit of time to regroup.

We tried and tried for fifteen years to please my in-laws…nothing we ever did was good enough. It got to the point when they would call (mom dad and sister's) our home would not even talk to me. (This was done by the request of his dad) It was as if I didn’t exist maybe they wished I didn't. Finally, my husband had enough, we tried talking. We definitely prayed. Until the situation was so heated they scheduled a meeting as a family to meet only with my husband to discuss the situation I was not an invited guest. This is when my husband told them to let us alone…that they were going to make one of us sick. We have been told since that we need counseling we have been sought after, accused and torn down. Yet throughout all this we have remained silent, not talking badly about them. Never gossiping as has been done to us. And we wait.

I fought with myself all weekend. Do I want to post this on my blog? This "cyber scrapbook" of my life? As much as I am sick and tired of living this way, as hurtful as all of this has become. I sort of have to this is my life. These struggles may follow me to my grave…I don’t know but I am thankful that the Lord has blessed our family. Countless blessings He has given us, He brought us together…no man can tear us apart.

I have never documented this anywhere…I am half afraid to document it here. Very few people in our life even know what we have gone through. This may change your mind about me. But there is a lesson here. The lesson is first and foremost don’t judge. Know a person by their character...don't just believe something to be true because it has been told to you...how harmful in the family of God this can be.

Signing off for today…

Joyce