Brittany's Graduation assignment part one...her testimony

I cannot begin to describe how incredible God’s glory is. His hand has guided me through difficult times and sheltered me from damaging situations. He has loved me when I felt unlovable and comforted me when I was afflicted.

I grew up in a Christian family. I remember Sunday mornings walking into church, meeting my grandparents with warm Sunday hugs. I remember Sunday school, singing in the children’s choir, acting in my church’s Christmas play, pioneer girls, and cubby bears. I remember memorizing the books of the bible with a cheerful song, and learning about why Jesus died on the cross. I remember all that and a lot more, yet I never truly understood the wonders of Christ until this past year.

I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was 5. My parents had been talking to me about accepting Jesus for a while. They explained everything in great detail as I asked questions. They took their time, making sure I fully understood the concept of it all. They wanted me to feel it in my heart before I made the decision to accept Him. One night while we were driving, my parents pulled into an empty parking lot. Confused, I asked them what was going on. They pulled me into the front seat and asked me if I was ready. I admitted that I was. That night, Jesus took over my life. He entered into my little heart and changed my life forever. In that empty parking lot, I made a promise to God that I would forever serve Him. I gave him my life, in return for his love and guidance. Although I had yet to develop reverence, I knew how important my prayer was and I meant it with my whole heart. Two years later, I was baptized. My pastor gave me a little book filled with coloring pages and lessons which taught me what baptism meant. I signed the dotted line which confirmed that I understood everything I was about to do. Soon after, I was dedicated to God in a cold pool of water.

Years passed by. My schooling stayed God focused, but the rest of the world seemed to change. I started to realize how easily the world rejected God. To say you’re a Christian makes you a bulls eye for ridicule and critical observation. No one ever looks at you the same way. Satin brainwashes people into thinking that we are all goody two shoes. He tells them that Christians think they’re better than everyone else.
I have witnessed these acts of treason against God, which made me scared to admit my faith. I was afraid of what people would say. I didn’t want to hear them mock God. Most of all, I was afraid of not being accepted.
I had stopped going to church as frequently, due to my crazy dance schedule. I didn’t even have time to go to youth group. I found myself being secretive of my faith. I wouldn’t talk about it to anyone accept my family or other Christians. Day by day, I sank deeper into the lifestyle that was accepted by the world. Morphing myself into another unoriginal copy, I forced myself to like things just because my “friends” did. The harder I tried to fit in, the more I seemed to stand out. I noticed how different I was from everyone else. Unlike my peers, I was close to my parents. I spent more time with them then I did my friends. I was homeschooled, which was absurd to some people. I was frequently asked “How are you going to get a boyfriend?” and “What about prom?”. I grew exhausted of people pulling me down. All I wanted was to have friends that accepted me.
It took years for me to understand that God made me different for a reason. I started to realize that as Christians, we’re supposed to stand out. We’re supposed to live life differently than the rest of the world. Even then, I had a hard time being myself.

When I was 12, my Pap was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. At first, we were optimistic. We had every reason to believe he was going to be alright, but as the days went by, the hope faded. We had to face the reality of the situation. I pleaded with God not to take my Pappy away from me. Large groups of friends and family were praying for him to get better, but a year and a half after the diagnosis, God called my Pappy to heaven. Satin got into my head and told me that God didn’t listen to me. He didn’t listen to all the prayers. I tried hard to be strong, but I ended up blaming God for the whole ordeal. I blamed Him for making my Pap sick. I blamed Him for taking my Pappy away from me. Satin fed me lies about how God disabled my Pap from being at my graduation, wedding, and all the other milestones. How could the God of all creation do that to me? My faith took a nosedive. I still believed in Christ with all my heart, but my faith in Him was gone. I doubted Him. I was afraid to give him my life again. I put up walls to block Him out, I felt like I needed to guard myself. I walked through my life day by day feeling dead inside. Unfortunately, things got worse before they got better. A chain of events pushed me into a deep place where I felt only satin could reach me. I hated it. I would have given anything just to be happy again. I felt like I was at my lowest low.
One day, I decided to listen to a Christian all-girl band on my iPod that I hadn’t listened to for a while. I thought maybe the music’s good message would make me feel better. As I turned on the music, my heart tingled with emotion. Every song touched my heart causing unstoppable tears. God was speaking to my heart, and I felt it. That week, I decided to check out youthgroups. I researched different churches, but I decided to stay at my own. I was nervous. I had blocked God away for so long I didn’t know how I could let him back in. As I walked through the doors I was comforted by my youth pastor’s wife. She introduced herself to me and told me about the retreat they were going on that weekend. I came home completely uplifted and asked my parents if I could go on the retreat. They told me that I could, so I signed myself up and was ready to go.
We met that Saturday at our youth group building. I met tons of girls before we even boarded the buses. We arrived at Camp Carl where we found our cabins and met our roomies. There was a camp fire, hay ride, and lots of pizza. After all the fun, we sat down and had a long service. I listened and watched as people gave their testimonies and I was touched by their honesty. I was in complete awe of the faith the people who surrounded me had. I wanted to be fearless because I trusted God, I wanted to stop feeling so fragile. That weekend, I renewed my vows with Christ. This time, I knew more about the depths of His glory.
When I came home and returned to regular life, I tried my hardest to live a Godly life. My mom and I were doing an amazing devotional for school, which helped me to sort through all my baggage. One day, our devotional told us to look up a verse in Exodus. I volunteered and opened my Bible. I turned to Exodus 14 and scanned the verses, then read Exodus 14:14

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

I remember being completely shocked. This verse was perfect for the situations I was going through. It spoke to me in a loud volume. When I looked back to my devotional book, I realized that I had read the wrong verse. God had given me that verse at a time when I needed reassurance. My life was on the right track again, and it felt good.
I’m now living my life with more faith than I could have ever imagined having. I don’t worry about things because I know God will take care of me. I’m so amazed at the difference God has made in my life. He picked me up and spun me around, putting me on a new path.
A few months ago, I created an online ministry. I felt a tug on my heart to reach out to preteen, teen, and young adult girls. This time last year, I would have never created a ministry. It didn’t interest me at all. Amazingly, I got great feedback and a better understanding of God’s word. Some of my close friends even asked me if they could join and help out. Today, my life revolves around helping others live Godly lifestyles. I’m following God’s lead and I’m proud of my it. I’m not afraid to say I’m a Christian anymore. I’ve learned that God is all that matters. If people don’t accept me because of my faith, then their friendship isn't worth having. My best friend, Jesus Christ, accepts me and that’s more than I could ever ask for. God’s grace is beautiful in my life. I cannot wait to see where it takes me.

My heart sang as I read these words directly from her heart. I feel so unbelievably blessed to have had the honor to be with my little girl as she has grown through all the stages of life and is now figuring things out for herself. I couldn't think of a greater blessing, as her mommy than to know that our child has seen for herself the amazing love of our Heavenly Father.

Joyce Marie