Okay, so this "mommy in transition" is finding out a lot about myself this week. I am also figuring out that my life as I know it is about to change. Change is good, but I still don't like it.
I strive to be the wife and mom that is there for my family, healthy meals...a mostly clean house (although some weeks are better than others), clean laundry (not always put away, but I'm getting better). I try so hard to meet my family's needs so that they can be all that they can be.
Yesterday started off great...we finished the resume, I put on a pot of sauce, made some yummy bread sticks (click here to get the recipe). As the afternoon wore on and I realized just how short my time was I began to feel pressured...how was I to put my perfect dinner on the table when Brittany was one direction and Dennis and I in the other. This is when I recognized that I was cooking like I had two hands full of thumbs. For some reason it took me all afternoon to cook my dinner. By the time it was time to take Brittany I hadn't even washed my hair or put my make-up on. (Do I really want to admit that?) I was dressed nice though, had a nice pair of capri's on and a spring blouse...which my sauce bubbled up like a volcano all over...that hot bubbly goo even hit me above my left eye brow (luckily, I wasn't burnt) and I quickly shed my blouse and treated it for stains and put on an old ratty t-shirt for the rest of the day. Oh, and did I mention that I grabbed my hot stainless steel pan by the handle without a hot pad? Yep, I had one wild and crazy day yesterday.
Sitting down to a quiet dinner with my man I ruined it with my tears...yep, started crying right there at the dinner table like a three year old. Poor me...my life as I know it is changing, my little girl is not so little anymore. My little buddy (Brittany) needs to do what she needs to do so that she can learn to make a living. (Are you enjoying my pity party yet?)
I realized sitting there with my husband looking at me with sad eyes...that I need to re-train my brain. For the past seventeen years plus my life has revolved around breakfasts, school, lunch, driving Brittany to dance, dinner and fun activities. I don't know what it is like to get up and face a day that I have to actually fill with new activities. Normally, I saved my house work for after school...I can now get up and have the whole house cleaned and laundry done by noon. Wow, imagine the thought. I can't...my mind doesn't work that way...my mind is still sitting at the dining room table or on the sofa under a quilt during the winter reading through tales of history.
So...now that I am aware that I am going to have many, many hours to fill and that life as I know it is about to change...I am going to attempt to re-train my brain. At least that is what I am going to be working on through the next several months...stick with me! (And with this...my pity party is over!)
Wishing you a blessed Wednesday!
Joyce Marie
((((hugs)))) for you, Sister! So much whirling around you - good things, but not so easy, I am sure! I rejoice with you in the wonderment of all that is exciting and new! And my heart goes out to you as you step through all the changes and I hope it won't be too unsettling but instead be filled with new purpose for what God has for you.
ReplyDelete& Oh!!! have I had many similar days when nothing seems to go right! I actually touched the iron yesterday!!! & sauce always seems to find its way onto my clothing!
: )
Leanne
Oh dear friend...my prayers are with you as you begin this transition in your life.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is hard. Yes, it is painful. But do not focus on that. Focus completely on the fact that you have raised a beautiful, inside and out, young woman who is not afraid to leave the nest that she has known for over 17yrs. She is secure in the love of Christ for her, and in the love of her parents.
It is not easy for her either, but she feels so confident in what she is doing, because she is following the promptings of the Spirit. Letting go is not easy for any of us "dedicated mommas". But once they have spread their wings, you can see that she is ready. That she will be allright.
Oh Joyce Marie, do not despair dear friend. Keep your eyes on the blessings always!!!
Maria
Dear Joyce,
ReplyDeleteI do hope in three more years you and I are still friends, for I will need you to remind me that you have "been there, done that". I have a lump in my throat just from reading this post and realizing that my turn is not too far away. I honestly don't know what I will do when I am in your place. These are precious times and memories. May the Lord give you His peace as you mourn and treasure the past and the present.
(((((hugs))))) I am sure if I was hugging you in person I would be crying to.
LOL, I hate when we have one of those days where you get spaghetti sauce in your blouse.
more ((((hugs)))
Katia
Aw, Joyce Marie, don't be so hard on yourself. I don't see it as a pity party either. Thinking about life changes are hard sometimes. The Lord will walk with you every step of the way for sure...but then you know that already!
ReplyDeleteHope this day was better. Did the stains come out?
Ok, I'm hugging you right now! Can you feel it?
ReplyDeleteOnce again - you made me cry! Not only because your story is touching, but because I remember the first week that Ted went to work. I was a mother hen with a chick missing! Nothing felt right - not dinner time, not anything, until he walked in the door that night. I was sad - not only for me, but for him - that he was having to become a man, in this big world.
I have to admit, you get used to the "new normal" as they say, but it takes a few weeks. This new phase will bring beautiful changes in your relationship with Brittany, as she learns, grows, and matures. She will turn into a woman (young woman) right before your eyes and you will be so proud.
As far as what to do - let it come naturally, as I'm sure it will. God will place, right in front of you, what He wants you to do, in the right time.
You're such a beautiful mom and wife. You bless me all the time!
Hope your day is awesome! (stay away from hot, bubbly sauces!)